my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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