Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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