I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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