and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
