Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
