I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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