Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
