Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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