Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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