is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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