shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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