Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
