can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
