we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
