Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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