): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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