North Korea, Best Korea!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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