whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
