are you so shy because you have an std?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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