He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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