i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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