i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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