my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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