woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
dude. I can hear the air.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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