Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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