all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
