Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
