Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
