Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
