Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
