i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
