Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize