like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
