it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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