dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
