The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
