The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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