I'm drive I can fine osifer
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
