If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
