I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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