I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
