So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
