this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
