I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
