I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
