my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
