please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
