Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
