My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
