put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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