youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
