Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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