Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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