She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
