i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
