I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
