it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
